Understanding The Vows That a Muslim Couple Takes in a Nikah

Putting first things first, you need to remember that Muslim couples don’t normally recite or chant vows. The weddings vows, which are a pristine and quintessential feature of Hindu and Christian weddings, are not a customary or even faint aspect of Muslim Matrimony. The couple rather listens to the words of the cleric, the imam. Any adult and reliable Muslim male may conduct the ceremony too. The male speaks about the purport of commitment and beauty of marriage. He focuses on the responsibilities of the couple towards one another and also towards Allah.

Next, he asks the bride and groom an approximate three times if they agree to accept each other in nikah as per the terms and conditions of their pious and traditional nikah or marriage contract. Post this step; they sign the contract, which seals the marriage. The gathered congregation comes forward to bless them. However, you will come across some Muslim couples choosing to exchange vows. Here are the traditional and common recitations.

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  • The lines of the bride: She starts by mentioning her name. For example, I, Nishat Ali and continues to further elaborate on that. She offers herself in marriage and in thorough compliance with the rules of the Holy Quran and the Prophet with peace and blessing on him. She pledges with due sincerity and honesty to be a faithful and obedient wife of the man.
  • The lines of the groom: The groom keeps it simple and precise. He pledges in all sincerity and honesty to be a helpful, loving, faithful and respectful husband. It’s an important observation that exchanging vows is not a core Islamic practice. However, it’s not shunned either. Hence, today’s modern couples, influenced by cosmopolitan vibes and cross-cultural impact are imbibing the vow exchange procedure in their Muslim Matrimony. It goes beyond that it’s a wonderful moment.
  • Know your Nikah: The Muslim marriage in itself entails legal vows wherein parties, the bride and groom accepts the length of the nikah and agrees to follow the rules. You need to know that Muslim couples are free to determine the anything they want to include in the marriage contract. For instance, although Islam permits a groom to take more than one wife, the concerned bride may choose to entail in the nikah a specific clause negating and forbidding her man to do so. There are certain cases where the bride happens to be way too young. Then, the contract may have terms pertinent enough for that age of the girl at which you can consummate the marriage.
  • The imam’s role: Traditionally, Muslim couples are married of by a Muslim religious leader, an imam. There’ a Quranic reading where the imam or a reliable male convening the nikah speaks about the essence of marriage and the spouses’ roles. He then asks the couple to accept each other willingly and affirm the terms mentioned in the marriage contract.

It’s an imperative for the couple to answer in affirmatives every time the imam asks the question. It’s a specific three times. Only then the marriage will be recognized.

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Understanding The Real Concept of a Muslim Nikah

To understand the core of Muslim Nikah, you first to understand that An-Nikah translate into the marriage covenant. Nikah is marriage, which is a scared and solemn contract between the bride and groom. It’s a contract that presages a strong and divine covenant. One of the most interesting and fundamental concepts of Nikah in Muslim Matrimony is that this marriage contract is not a sacrament. Instead, it’s revocable. The entire thing thrives on a mutual agreement between the bride and groom.

Both parties agree with one another to enter into the contract. Both groom and bride have their liberty to locate and define different terms and conditions as per their liking. They can make the terms a part of the marriage contract.

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  • Mahr: The marriage gift of Mahr relates to a divine injunction. The groom gives the Mahr to the bride as an essential tool of the contract. It’s a token of respect and commitment of the groom’s responsibility. You can pay the gift in cash, moveable objects or property to the bride herself. Quran doesn’t legally specify the mahr amount. However, Islamic jurisprudence recommends moderation as the existing and proper social norm in this regard. You can pay the mehr to the bride at the time of nikah or on a later deferred date, or a juxtaposition of both. However, the deferred mahr would become due if there’s a divorce and death.
  • On sermon: The nikah assembly is addressed with a definite marriage sermon by the Muslim judge convening the contract. In marriage realm or societies, primarily, a Qazi convenes the ceremony of nikah, keeping the record of the central marriage contract. Interestingly, any trustworthy and devout Muslim can hold or oversee the nikah ceremony. You need to know that Islam actually doesn’t advocate or promote priesthood. The certificate or documents of the concerned marriage contract are subsequently filed with the local masjid (mosque) and local government. It is for the sake of record.
  • The primary requisites: You need mutual agreement or Ijab-o-Qubul from the bride and groom. There has to be two sane and adult witnesses. The groom must pay the mehr to the bride either during the marriage (muajjal) or muakhkar (deferred date), or a combination of both options.
  • Secondary requisites: A legal guardian or wakeel must represent the bride. The bride and groom will sign the Aqd-Nikah or written marriage contract and have the witnesses by their side. There will be a state appointed judge, obviously Muslim called Qazi or a Mazoon to officiate the Muslim Matrimony. The latter is responsible to do the proceedings. Next is Khutba-tun-Nikah for solemnizing the marriage.
  • Facets of Nikah: The main ceremony begins with lofty praise of God/Allah. The couple seeks His guidance and help. They declare the quintessential Muslim faith confession that one is worthy of devotion and worship save Allah and prophet Muhammad (SAW) is his messenger and servant.

They follow it with three verses from the Quran and a hadith containing a prophetic saying. It forms the make text of the nikah. The marriage ceremony is a chain of disciplined prayers and agreement. 

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Planning a Kerala Wedding in North India

Planning an authentic Kerala matrimonial ceremony in a North Indian state can be easier said than done. This is simply because everything from your traditional Kerala clothing, jewelry, décor and even food can be difficult to find in North India. Most of the couples’ shop for their traditional items from their hometown well in advance before the wedding takes place so that they don’t have to struggle last minute in their destination wedding location.

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Plan the wedding dates for off season
The peak season for northern Indian weddings is during the entire winter season from November till February end. It is important to book your wedding dates during the off season so that you get affordable rates for the wedding halls, reception lawns and even normal rates for décor and caterers. During the peak season, all the services are at almost double the price rates which means you will end up spending a bomb just on décor and food! If you do somehow end up with a peak season date, try to plan out everything in advance so that you don’t have to pay peak season prices for dresses, caterers, décor, hall and reception law rents etc.

Shorten your guest list
Since a lot of your family from Kerala and the middle east will be coming down to Punjab for the wedding, this might cost you a lot of money. Everything from the ticket prices, travel and accommodation, food etc. will be on you so you might want to plan your guest list out accordingly. If you and your partner have majority of your family in Kerala, that would mean flying down your entire family to Punjab for your Kerala matrimonial ceremony which is as good as a small destination wedding. Plan your guest list in a way where you have only your near and dear ones along with close friends. This will definitely cut your costs by 1/3rd.

Book services in bulk
Booking anything in bulk is cheaper as compared to individually booking the same thing. When it comes to hotel rooms, airline or train tickets, transport such as bus or cars on rent and other such services, book them in bulk to avail the best discounts and costs. A lot of hotels also provide complimentary lunch and dinner packages if you promise them a particular number of room bookings in advance.

Research on the best authentic Kerala caterers
These days, it is not very difficult to find your choice of caterers in any city, but it is important to do a proper research on the various caterers in the city where you plan to get married. You can also do a taste test with these caterers to see the authenticity of their Kerala style food. A lot of caterers charge a very minimal price for a tasting session where you can try their different varieties of dishes before you book them.

Apart from this, you can also hire a good wedding planner who can organize a proper authentic Kerala style wedding for you!

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Planning a Classy Cocktail Party For a Tamil Wedding

If you want to throw a classy cocktail bash for your Tamil Matrimony without hosting a gala function of the season, the most important thing is to stick to basics. While celebrating the merry occasion is exciting and fun, cocktail parties tend to get a little expensive. While many people tend to go overboard with the preparations, the idea is to start with the simple things. First is to determine the number of your guests. Always remember that your invitees for engagement and cocktail party are a must for your main wedding. So, choose your guest list wisely.

One of the central things to look for is food and décor, lights, venue and food and beverages. Here’s how to chic and simple.

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  • Guest list and invitation: A printed, formal invite is something you don’t need. They are indeed a lovely touch. They are not necessarily synced with social media mechanisms. These are casual get together. In case you have to cut your budget as per time frame, this might be the apt place to make your score. These are viable ideas if your invitee list is small. Pertaining to the guest list context, don’t invite a person that you won’t to your wedding. If a couple doesn’t set their wedding invite list, you can stick to family and close friends. The idea is to be safe.
  • The décor: If you want to throw an easygoing, welcoming party, your décor doesn’t have to burn a hole in your pocket. Just hang a chain of string lights or hanging lanterns across the lawn or patio. You can also hang them in your living room. Buy a floral arrangement to make the entry gateway. You can also make a chalkboard signage or two. For those who’re die-hard fans of the popular DIY, you could perennially find a cheap, casual, but statement-creating project. The best example is heart balloons.
  • Fun activities: You need to remember that a cocktail party of your Tamil Matrimony is not like a typical bridal shower. Nobody expects games in these ceremonies. However, in case you think that a mere conversation may be insufficient to entertain the guests, you can always create a few activities to create some other platforms. It’s always good to break out from the jinx if you face emergencies. You can opt for bar-style or themed trivia games. The games can feature the love story of the couple. You can have the game on backyard’s background. Karaoke is always a great idea.
  • Food and drink: This is the place where you spend your cash, the moolah. Just keep it simple. For those wanting to serve alcohol, you can stick to wine and beer. Just ensure you set a proper party theme to coordinate with your budget. For instance, if you want to serve little bites, you mustn’t host the function around the time of meals. Out it after dinner or at mid-afternoon.

Affordable and creative can be stuff like meatballs, spaghetti, green salad with baked potato slices, munchies and hamburgers, or cornbread and chili.

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Planning a Fun Filled Sangeet Ceremony For a Tamil Wedding

One of the most popular pre-wedding functions, the Sangeet ceremony is an opulent celebration of the meeting and mixing of two families in the much awaited union of their beloved children. Although more visible and commercialized in north and central Indian weddings, the sangeet events are a class of their own in Tamil Matrimony. It offers immense respite from the hassles and hectic wedding preparations. All the women of the family come together well in advance and carry spoons and dholaks (percussive instruments), surround the beaming bride and belt out traditional and popular wedding songs.

The subjects of the thumping songs vary from daily life of girls to teasing the coy bride. Some songs also speak of the parents’ pain while sending their beloved daughter to her new house.

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  • Creating new ideas: The sky is the limit while planning a sangeet event. You have no set rules and order in this regard. Here’s a scope of pouring out all the bridal dreams you’ve cultivated thus far. You have the leverage to go overboard if you have a proper, permissive budget. The dress you choose for your sangeet is definitely one of the best in the bridal trousseau. It comes second only to the opulent wedding ensemble. However, unlike the wedding dress, you are free to experiment with several designs and styles. The bride can choose to adorn an ensemble instead of a sari or lehenga. Even if she wears a lehenga or a dress as opulent as that, she can go with any design, cut or color.
  • The dress variation: There are leading designers designing some modern and funky lehengas that enable you to turn up the looks and glam quotient. It will still allow you adequate comfort and you can dance sans worrying. There’s the groom and his gentlemen brigade turning out in kurta pajamas or the latest indo-western dresses like kurtas with dhoti pants. You can also wear a Nehru jacket or waistcoat over it.
  • Induce games: Apart from the loud songs and dancing, your sangeet ceremony in Tamil Matrimony might include interactive games like riddles and karaoke. You can arrange award-like functions where they laud you for your performances. There’s enough room to get creative with the snacks and cocktails. You can hire a professional bartender to entertain invitees with his special antics. You can induce further competition between respective groups of the bride and groom. These are Guess Who and tug of war. You can also be very innovative with the modern sangeet event’s theme. It can be your Tamil film night, magic theme or princess dream. Some folks also go for disco night or casino night.
  • Getting your basics right: Event management firms can look after the entire event. It starts from selecting the perfect setting to selecting the best choreographer. They can also arrange celebs for participating in performances.

The professionals manage each detail from song to food selection, from photography to lighting. All you have to do is show up for the wedding and make yourselves the star of the show.

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How is Kundali Milan Similar To The Western Concept Of Love Chemistry

As a law of nature, east and west have always been poles apart from each other. This reflects not only in their demographic and geographic equation, but also through the wide difference they in terms of the way of living of the people at both ends. The cultural, traditional, spiritual, mental, economic as well as physical differences between both these populations is too wide a gap to cover. However, when it comes to emotions and feelings like love, there are chances that similarities between both are somewhere possible.

In eastern countries like India, where arranged marriage and practices like Kundali Matching are still widely practice, no such norm in seen in countries Like Britain, or USA, which are situated in the west. However, such countries too have certain measures to find suitability between two people, and whether or not they will get along well after marriage. One of the main concept behind predicting the same comes in the form of “Love chemistry.”

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What is “Love Chemistry?”:

In the western countries, concept like horoscope matching do not exist. However, the psychologists there firmly believe that there are certain chemical processes that go on in the human body, which are responsible for attraction or hate between two different individuals. While you may come across strangers whom towards whom you experience an instant interaction, then again there are people whom you may dislike for no apparent reason. This form of connect that you feel in the first go is termed as “Love chemistry.” While the success rate of the same cannot be predicted in terms of numbers and statistics, its existence, however , cannot be denied.

Similarities between Kundali Milan and love chemistry:

While the very concept of Kundali Milan and Love Chemistry is poles apart from each other, there are certain similarities between the two which cannot be denied. Some of them are as follows:

  • Both are match making concepts: the main reason that people follow Kundali Milan and love chemistry is to find a perfect match for themselves. While kundali does that on the basis of star and planetary positioning, Love chemistry depends on the psychological and chemical attraction between the two.
  • Both are based on a particular science: While Kundali matching is largely dependent on the science of astrology for predicting the human equation between the two individuals, love chemistry is mainly based of the psychological and emotional connect between the two.
  • Both are instrumental in predicting the emotional equation between two individuals: both Kundali Milan and love chemistry help predict the emotional connect and equation that a couple are likely to share after getting married. While Kundali matching is more like a shot in the dark in this aspect, love chemistry is more likely to present some clear results.

With all said, this fact cannot be denied that the main reason behind following love chemistry and Kundali Milan is to mainly predict the love and compatibility between the couple. As they say in the matter of love, always follow your heart.

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Is Mangal Dosha Still Important?: A Critical Analysis

We are living in the age of technology. The rapid expansion in the same has in a way, taken control of our lives, every hour, minute and second of our life in governed by professional or personal work, of which we require outputs. However, when it comes to life changing decisions like marriage, we Indians still opt for the age old traditional ways, following the practices that have existed since time immortal. One such practice, which has been an integral part of Indian marriages is that of Kundali matching. As per this tradition, the horoscopes of the prospective couple are to be matched before the alliance between the girl and boy is finalized. However, horoscope matching in turn can divide the people further due to the practices and beliefs that come associated with it. One such practice which has split wide the horoscope believers is that of “Mangal Dosha.” A person is said to have a Mangal Dosha, if his or her horoscope is governed by the planet Mars (Mangal). While such a person may be domineering, attractive, good looking and strong willed, he or she may get a little unlucky when it comes to marriage. It is believed that if a person with a strong Mangal gets married to a non-manglik, it can lead to marital discords, misunderstanding or even ill health or death of a non-manglik partner. While some people strongly believe in mangal and its consequences, others rule it out as a total hoax. Let us try and understand whether or not mangal is of any importance in present times, by analyzing the two schools of thoughts regarding the same:

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“Mangal dosha” believers:

Even in present day and age, there are many who firmly believe that stars and planets have a strong impact on the events that take place in our lives. As per them, Mangal is the strongest planet amongst all. It is fierce in nature and hence, tends to absolve all weaker planets which come near it. Hence, they believe that if a Manglik marries a non manglik, it can lead to an unhappy marriage, marital discord, misunderstand and doubt between the couple. Moreover, if the Mangal Dosha is supremely strong in the horoscope, it can even lead to the subsequent death of the non-manglik partner.

“Mangal Dosha” non-believers:

However, in present times, there is a huge sect of people who refute the mangal dosha theory from the core. As per them, no planet is stronger than another. Hence being a manglik or non manglik really does not matter much. Every person has a fortune of their own, which cannot be affected by anyone else, even their life partner. So giving weightage to Manglik Dosha leads only to fear and superstition, and nothing else.

Looking at both the perspectives, one can conclude that believing or not in Manglik Dosha is a matter of personal inclination in present times. Let’s hope that all goes well for everyone. May the stars be with you!

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Living a Blissful Marital Life Despite a Mismatched Kundali – My Story

Indian Hindu families believe strongly in astrology. Most Hindu families in fact always get Kundalis matched for marriage. They believe that if the Kundlis do not match the marriage is doomed and hence, most often do not go ahead with the alliance. Such strong is the belief that they are ready to call off a marriage if there is a fault with the kundlis. However, with changing times, there are many modern families and couples who are defying this staunch belief and faith in kundli matching and have gone ahead with marriage in spite of ill matched kundlis. My marriage is one such story.

My husband and I were madly in love with each other and were dating for 8 years. Our love story, however, was hidden from the world as we were from different communities. However, one day the world had to know as we wanted to get married. The initial hurdle was telling the parents and as expected we faced opposition from all quarters. Over many fights, arguments and teary talks, we waded this storm and convinced are parents to meet each other. The meeting was awkward at the beginning but since both the families were well cultured and educated, the air of anxiety did not loom for long. After having liked each other and the families, they decided to start preparations for the wedding but my husband’s grandmother put a spoke in the wheel as she asked for the Kundlis to be matched and only then go ahead with the marriage.

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Inspite of much opposition from both my husband and me, it was decided to get the Kundlis matched by a family astrologer. Much to our dismay and fear, the Kundlis had a mismatch, only 10 gunas or qualities matched, which was much lower than the requisite 18 gunas.There was major upheaval in the family with the elders creating another hurdle. The marriage was called off with immediate effect, leaving us despondent. We still met and tried to reconcile to the fact that this marriage was not destined to be but somehow I could not fathom that a Kundli could spoil a 8 year long relationship. I was not ready to accept that the Kundlis knew more about us than we both did. So I decided to pursue the relationship and convinced my husband to get married in spite of opposition.

We got married a year later and were disowned by both the families. Now we were alone leading our lives. We had a lot of initial hiccups, which most marriage but were happy to be with each other.

Today, we have been married for 30 years, have two beautiful children and 4 grandchildren. We have a family of our own and don’t have any regrets for taking that tough decision so many years ago of getting married.

Always remember love surpasses all. If you and your spouse truly love each other and are ready to face and fight all kinds of odds, any amount of opposition or ill matched Kundlis can be turned around. 

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Predicting Healthy Physical and Emotional Bonding by Way of Kundali Matching

For centuries Hindus have relied on Vedic astrology to make important life decisions, which includes selecting a life partner. It has and still does help in making an informed decision about the future. Kundli Matching is one of the basics when it comes to marriage proposals in India. Most Hindu families still believe in the power of Kundlis or horoscope and the implications a mismatched Kundli can have on the lives of the two people concerned.

It is believed that Kundli matching is a sure shot way of checking the compatibility two people proposing to get married. It is done by matching the gunas of the two individuals based on their horoscope and if 18 or more gunas match, the Kundlis are meant to be compatible and the marriage alliance is given a go ahead. A good vedic astrologer is needed to make a Kundli and also to interpret it because all the results are based on his readings.

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Kundli matching is used to know the physical, mental and emotional compatibility of two individuals. It also predicts the financial stability of the couple after marriage. There are about 8 gunas or quality tests that an astrologer undertakes to know the overall compatibility of two people.

The fourth test is the Yoni guna test that checks the physical and sexual compatibility between a couple. They are represented by animals and there are 14 types with 2 nakshatra belonging to each. The behavior of each animal towards the other was decided by astrologers in the past and they formed 5 behavioral categories. Each behavirol category is given points and based on it the compatibility of the two individuals is decided.

Another test check the emotional compatibility of two individuals. It is called the Graha Maitri, used to check the love between the couple and also the emotional connect. You can calculate it by comparing the sign lords of the moon in both the bride and groom’s chart. Points are given to the lords based on their friendliness towards each other. For instance, if the two lords are the same or friends, 5 points are given to them while if both are enemies then they do not get any point.

There are many other similar tests to check the health, family progeny, financial strength and other parameters between the couple. Only if all the tests show positive results, is the marriage considered else many families call off the wedding.

Marriages in India, are not between two individuals but between families and it is important that it is with the consent of all the family members. A major influencing factor in this regard is Kundli matching. If the Kundlis are positive, the first stage of marriage of crossed.

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Importance of Kundali Matching in Arranged Marriages

India is that country where a matrimonial affair is considered to be the biggest celebration and an epoch-making moment of your life. All the highs of lows of your life or the goods and bad things that you might have done all throughout your life, seem to snowball to this one auspicious day, where both person unites under the vow of marriage. Since time immemorial, there have many rituals and customs that have been observed to ensure that the couple spends a blissful married life. One such practice and ritual that’s an integral part of the Hindu society of India is kundali matching.

It refers to the matching of horoscopes of those two persons involved as per their stars’ positioning, which lead to the prediction of their future. Since the very beginning, people have attached immense importance to matching both the kundalis when it comes to marriages. This includes both resident and non-resident Indians.

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  • The traditional facet: Indian culture’s most special aspect that makes it stand apart from the rest of the world is that it remains deeply connected to its strong roots. The people believe in following different traditions, which have been imbibed in all since birth. One such tradition that many choose to follow and do really believe in is kundali matching.
  • Gives a sense of security: Regardless of whether you’re following it as tradition, family obligation or even as a fad or superstition, an undeniable thing about matching horoscopes is that sense of security it brings. The belief and certainty is of course for the ones who believe in it. Faith is one such thing, which when given a push takes to heights. If you match the kundalis of the prospective bride and groom before their arranged marriage, the two persons and their families feel secure and satisfied about the fact that can now spend their conjugal life happily and peacefully.
  • Predicts mental and physical compatibility: Going by the logic of it, this is the biggest benefit of kundali matching is case of arranged marriages. Let’s admit, the two persons have never bet before, or seldom met each other. They don’t know each other well, let alone any physical contact of that sort. So, a horoscope matching, if done properly with correct calculations, entails the ability to tell the mental and physical compatibility between the two. When two people show proper scores for these parameters, it’s considered to be an ideal match.
  • Helps to avoid genetic malaises offspring: You can find different aspects of horoscopes that thrive on the ancestral part and family to whom the person belongs. Invariably, it’s based on the blood or genes he or she might carry. It refers to the data and study of genealogy, which gives you a vivid picture of the married life. That helps you to prevent far off relatives or those from the same gotra or clan from getting married.

Precisely, it helps prevent genetic and chromosomal disorders and diseases that might take place in the children of those couples. You can often witness this in the case of kids of related people.

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