5 things to look out in a prospective bride

Before reading further, you need to remember that love means loyalty and commitment. Love it commitment and when you love someone, you actually commit yourself to that person. Physical attraction can often cloud your senses and judgment, causing you to take decisions solely based on some feelings. You need to be dangerous and armed while dating. The wise man will plan ahead of these things by keeping certain crucial traits in mind while making a decision on their Mrs Right. If you’re finding your bride through sites like Shadi.com, you have the time and bandwidth to meet and know that person in depth.

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While society mainly ponders on what a woman wants from her prospective husband, the men to have their share of questions and wants that they seek in their prospective bride. Here are five such things.

  • Respect: Watch how she treats people. Make sure you notice her behavior when you go to an eatery. The way she treats the server when he’s late speaks volumes about her temperament. It has proven to be a big indicator of the type and design of her heart. Remember, that’s how she will treat you and your family after the long haul. Everyone wants a wife who esteems and values you. Respect is both mutual and self. Apart from respecting you and understanding you, she needs to respect herself as well. A woman without self-respect is vulnerable to many insinuations and pricks from conniving relatives and outsiders. She shouldn’t be gullible to doubt you or cast aspersions on you. She needs to sort things out directly with you.
  • Adjustment: Adjustment doesn’t mean being compatible with you or coping with your omissions and commissions. If you live with your parents or other elders, your prospective wife needs to adjust to that setup. It is certainly difficult if the girl is the only child of her parent and is born and brought in a nuclear family setting. However, adjustment is the key here. Notice her behavior in small rooms, improper hotels, and wrong seats and see how she can compromise. Her stand and stance matter a lot in this regard.
  • Unconditional love: While it applies to both the sexes, the woman’s version is mostly skipped or rather taken for granted. In today’s times, it’s not the case and men have every right to figure out if the wife will love him forever and the way she does now. There are many things that make a man attractive and desirable to a woman. There’s a famous saying, ‘the sex appeal of a man lies in his pocket’. While that’s largely a half-baked concept, some of it is certainly. A girl, who marries you for money, will have nothing to do with and may eventually leave you if that money goes kaput someday. These are vested interests and you need to be aware of gold diggers.
  • Intentions and acts: See if your girl does certain things out of their heart’s kindness or if that’s sheer opportunism. One who does good things expecting nothing in return is actually a great person to live with. You can take the help of com to talk frequently with your partner.

Another important thing is her willingness to conceive. While some in the west might consider it as redundant, in India and most other countries, a large part of marriage is still about taking your love and generation forward through your kids. Make sure you know your woman’s mind on that before marrying her.

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Kerala Wedding and its Beauty

The most unique and wonderful aspect of kerala matrimony is that despite adhering strictly to Vedic rituals and customs, they are simple and succinct. The focus is not on the pomp and grandeur, extravagant preparations and trademark wedding cacophony, but core rituals and pious observations. They have comparatively much lesser rituals and the religious festivities or compulsions are even lesser. For instance, if you go to a traditional Nair wedding, you will see the nearby temple is the main venue. However, the residence of the bride is the epicenter of the ceremony.

Sometimes, the wedding can happen in a convention place or wedding hall convenient to both parties. It’s a fun place to be since it entails a series of pre-wedding rituals and festivities, followed by core wedding rituals and post-wedding ones.

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  • Muhurtham: The parents of the boy and girl meet and exchange horoscopes. If the kundalis match, they choose a suitable date. This is the auspicious say/moment or muhurtham of the marriage. It’s conducted after consultation with a family astrologer.
  • Nischayam: It’s the solemn engagement ceremony where the people announce, share, rejoice and mutually celebrate the gleeful event. The marriage’s confirmation is the cause of the rapture. The compared and approved kundalis are then exchanged during the course of the event. As the celebrations flow, some families also perform a ring exchange ceremony or mothiram maattal. They present each other other gifts.
  • Mehendi ceremony: It definitely is a rarity in kerala matrimony or in any kerala marriage ritual, but Nair weddings celebrate mehendi ceremony with a lot of fanfare. It takes place at the house of the girl. The aunts of the bride apply mehendi, deep turmeric paste on her hands. They celebrate it with a lot of pomp.
  • The bride’s pre-nuptial ceremony: It’s a blessing ceremony that involves the bride only on the day before the D-day. Her relatives and only the close family members attend the festivity. Often, it involves a sumptuous feast. The soon-to-bride wears a fine silk sari, laden with beautiful and heavy jewelry. She then takes a seat facing towards the east. Relatives and elders pour in from all fronts of the family tree, showering their blessings to the girl. The family of the groom also conducts a similar function. The event takes place in his house.
  • Talk on the wedding rituals: On most occasions, the most preferred wedding venue is the ancestral abode of the bride. But as things turn out, it’s more of a concern for conveyance and convenience these days. Many families are opting for temples, wedding halls or convention centers.
  • Kanyadan: The bride’s family warmly welcomes the groom and the mother washes his legs and takes him to the podium.
  • Dakshina kodukkal: The couple is endowed with blessings of their parents and elders. They pay them dakshina by touching their feet. The event takes place at their homes. Once completed, they leave for their wedding destination.

The customs are equally interesting. There are specific guidelines regarding the décor and setup of the kalyana mandap.  You can find a cluster of sacred arrangements entailing special significance in Hindu fold.

Download the Malayalee Shaadi app and find Malayalee brides & grooms from the largest Kerala Matrimony site.

Rituals a Bride has to perform in a Tamil Brahmin Wedding

A wedding is the coming together of two hearts, two individuals and two families. And with Indian weddings, it is even more special since it is a union that lasts forever and is celebrated in the most grand and royal manner. All over India, no matter what culture or religion, weddings are always something to celebrate with pomp and splendour, perform various rituals and traditions and enjoy the ceremonies with a large number of people!

The Tamil Matrimonials

Tamil matrimonials Especially in the Tamil Brahmin community, the weddings are celebrated in the Vedic style with extra importance to traditions that have been passed over for centuries. All weddings require a lot of preparation on the bride’s side as well as for the bride since she is going to another home. Similarly, in the Tamil Brahmin community, the girl is required to prepare sincerely for her wedding and she is also required to perform various rituals during the wedding ceremonies. In many families, Tamil weddings go on for 5 days like the olden days. Some cultures have accepted a modern way of weddings and opt for a 3 day wedding. However, each wedding is full of rituals that include:

Vratham

This is performed separately by the Tamil bride and groom. A kappu, holy thread is tied on the bride’s wrist to ward off all evil spirits and protect her.

Nitchayatartham – The Engagement

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The bride and groom usually perform this ceremony in a  temple with blessings of the Lord and elder members of the  family. The bride is given a new saree by the groom’s sister at  this time and she changes her clothes for the next part of the  ceremony. The priest reads the details of the marriage and  many times, this is followed by a grand reception like  celebration for family and friends.

Oonjal

After the groom comes back from his Kashiyatra, he is welcomed with the bride and they exchange garlands with a lot of fun and frolic around. Once the garlands are exchanged, the couple sits on a swing and they are fed milk, bananas and sugar by women from both the sides. The groom holds the bride’s hand while getting up from the swing and takes her to the marriage dais.

Kanyadaanam and MangalyaDhaaranam

The first bit of this ceremony is when the father gives away the bride to the groom and asks him to take care of her. The bride is given a new brand saree which she wears with the help of the groom’s sister and comes to the stage where the groom is continuing with the rituals. The couple takes blessings from various deities and then the groom ties a mangalsutra to the bride. In Tamil matrimonials, there are two mangalsutras, one from the bride’s family and one from the groom’s family. Then the couple go ahead for a sapthapadi, seven steps of vows where they officially get married as per the rituals.

A Tamil bride has a lot of interesting rituals to participate in, right from the pre-wedding, wedding to post wedding. All of them involve some sacred customs, family rituals and taking blessings from family members and deities.